Some years ago, over 11 years ago to be precise, I was sick. Very sick. One day I was fine, the next, I wasn't. My life changed forever. It could have destroyed me. It almost did. But instead, I turned it around. It took me 7 years to find the key, but I found it, and when I did, I simply opened the door from the sickness I was trapped in, and stepped through into health.
It sounds easy, doesn't it? Well, actually, it was. That easy. For all the years that went before, I had learnt to identify myself by my illness, by my lack of health. It was what I saw when I looked in the mirror, it was what I talked about when I talked to people. It was what they asked me about. It defined me.
Back in January 2000, we were living happily in a lovely village in West Wales. I was a course director at M.Sc. level, and a research fellow, part way through my studies for Ph.D. We were looking into buying a house in the village at the time, and I was moving smoothly up the ladder to head of department, with my dream of becoming Dean of Faculty one day looking highly feasible. Then disaster struck, and I was taken very seriously ill indeed. I almost died, and became increasingly ill over the following few years, ending up almost totally incapacitated and housebound for some time, with my partner Willow becoming my full time carer, as well as loving partner.
As I was a coastal rowing champion, runner and daily surfer, it was a shock to everyone, and devastating for us both. It cost me my job, my career, and my confidence.
During my years of illness, I had a lot of time to develop my study of Buddhism, and of meditation and contemplation in particular. I thought and meditated long and hard. I came to the conclusion that in order to get well, it wasn't a doctor I needed, it was a change of view. A shift. Not an upwards shift, a sideways shift. Like moving a few feet to the right, or the left, to get a different perspective on something you are looking at. The more I contemplated this, the more convinced I was that it was the solution.
I tried to explain this idea to my doctors, but they didn't grasp what I meant. Even the more alternative types amongst them. I came to the realisation that I did not need a 'cure', which I had been seeking ever since the first day I got sick. I just needed to stop thinking of myself as sick, to stop defining myself as sick.
Despite lack of support from medical professionals, I had the support and encouragement of my partner, and decided that I had nothing to lose by trying, I had seem similar ideas work in the field of self hypnosis, such as the techniques used by Paul McKenna.
So I jumped. Metaphorically speaking. I took that sideways leap, out of illness, and into health. I thought about what I wanted to replace the sick me with, and replaced my vision of illness, weakness and failure, with one of strength, action and vitality. I thought about how I wanted to be living. So, instead of spending my days in bed, or on the sofa, lying down, always resting, feeling dizzy, nauseous, weak and hopeless, I replaced them with a new definition of me.
New me was like the pre-sickness me, only better, freer, stronger. As I visualised new me, I saw myself running to the beach, with a shiny new longboard tucked under my arm, smiling [grinning ear to ear actually], for a surf session. I would surf, have an awesome time, then smiling even wider, I would run back to the surf bus, our VW van that took us to the beach, where previously I had slept whilst my partner Willow surfed and ran.
I told Willow of my vision. She said "get the board". So I did. I went and bought that board. A beautiful red 9' longboard. Superb. I was stoked! I could barely wait. Willow had to go away for three days that day, she needed a break, caring for me full time had become tiring. I'm not surprised. So I was on my own that day. Perfect. No pressure.
That day, I got up, so excited to think I was finally going to go surfing again. I waxed my board, checked my leash, and loaded my kit into the van. I drove to the beach. Wow, I was finally doing it! At the beach, I held that vision of wellness that I had created to replace the vision of sickness. I suited and booted, grabbed my board, and I ran. Yes, I ran to the water's edge, no mean distance. Especially for someone who spent most of their time unable to walk far. The smile was there on my face. I felt good, strong. Again. At last! I had taken the leap.
I surfed for an hour, a beautiful day, in the sun, just small, playful waves, all my own. Perfect heaven, what a prize! Afterwards, I ran back to the van, grinning, just as in my vision. I was living it. Living the dream, instead of the nightmare. I had taken the sideways leap, and there was no looking back.
I phoned Willow and told her what had happened. She could barely believe it, after all these years, she couldn't hold back the tears. Tears of joy, at last. A breakthrough for us both. Usually, when she was away, there would be a crisis, I usually couldn't cope on my own. What a day in both our lives!
The next day, I repeated the process, and again, and again. Sure, sometimes I felt tired, but instead of being afraid of the tiredness, fearing that it was the return of my illness, I saw it as a sign of health. It was a sign of a normal healthy individual taking normal healthy exercise.
My life changed through taking that leap, and I have never looked back. I have longed to share what I learned with others, I have longed to lead others to wellness again, because I know it to be possible.
I fought through those tough, lean years, and came out on top. I have been well, fit and strong again now since 2007, and the first thing I wanted to do when I was well again, was to travel and see the world. Something we had promised ourselves as we lived through those tough years.
House and pet sitting was our way of doing that on our then limited budget. We've learnt to be resourceful through our experiences, and bring those skills to bear on our work as house sitters. We fell in love with this lifestyle, and love that we get to stay in so many different locations and property types. It's like a sampler of life! Sure, I still sometimes miss that fabulous career path and course director's wage, and wonder what if, but I've learnt to look forwards not back, and we have both learnt to live for the joy of the new friendships we make, and the experiences we gain as we travel. There's a great quote that sums this up: "out of necessity comes invention".
Since 2007, I have driven road trips in that surf van of ours over 40,000 kilometres around the coast of Europe, time and time again, surfing , exploring, hiking up mountains, running down them. Life has been unashamedly awesome.
Currently, I'm living in Crete. Swimming, hiking, climbing, running, cycling, and learning to freedive. Maybe for a few months, maybe for a few years, beginning to earn a new living, as a writer. I will continue to travel, as it is the best education I have ever received in life.
We dusted down, reinvented ourselves and moved on… is it time for you to reinvent yourself?
Are you sick right now? Can you change your health, just by changing your view? How would you change it? What does healthy you look like? I dare you to see it, you'll never look back. Shall I hold your hand, and we'll take the leap together? Or can you be bold, and do it all by yourself, like I did?
Or maybe, you can change something else about your world?
Ando Perez is a thinker, writer & poet. You can follow her writings at http://andoperez.com & you can follow her on Twitter.