With age comes wisdom. Or at least that's what I used to believe, when I was younger.
Now, I have reservations about such a sweeping statement. Indeed, the ratio of wisdom to the absence of it is possibly higher in the older population, of say, over forties, compared with twenty and thirty somethings. I remember thinking, as a young 21 year old Zen Buddhist and yoga practitioner, that I was the real thing, that here it was, I knew the meaning of life, that I had wisdom. I was all grown up. Mature.
Mature? At 21? No. 26… 30? Still no. I slowly started to sense the development of wisdom and confidence that arose beyond the age of 40. It's a wisdom you can't buy, not with cash, but you can develop, in exchange for your time and study. Now, at 49, I have spent much of the last three decades of my life studying and practicing engaged Buddhism, with all that entails [but that's another essay]. I look back at my 21 year old self and laugh at that kid who thought she was all grown up. If only. If only I could have known what I know now, about people, and most importantly, about myself.
Since the age of 40, I have seen myself grow, through the recovery from life threatening and debilitating illness, into a traveller, and an adventurer. I have learnt more about myself, and about humanity, in the past 4 years of full time travel, than in all the years that went before. I took myself out to the edge. I pushed the envelope of my own comfort zones, and of my knowledge. I learnt. I changed. I grew.
Now I look around me, at the world that I expected to be filled with elders and wonder where they all are? I have always had a high respect for my elders, for their worldly experience and wisdom. Only now I am closing in towards that age group, I discover that a/ elders may be a little older than I previously imagined them to be. b/ elders are rare creatures. That's why they should be so highly valued. In a Western world where so many are living to not only be over 60 or 70, but over 80 and 90, that so few qualify as elders in my book. I need there to be qualified and wise elders around me, to teach me. I am learning from all whom I meet, but I seek higher knowledge.
Why? I want to have conversations with them, about wisdom, spirituality, suffering, life, the future, the past. I want to learn from them, to stand on the shoulders of giants. I am now actively seeking out those elders, to be my teachers in the next stage of life, so I can help others to grow too. I have a few marked out, some very few are local to me, that's what will keep me travelling, I need to find my teachers. I know where some of the others are. Other examples can be found here. I just need to get to them, and learn from them. I constantly seek them, as I constantly seek wisdom within.
Let's not veg out with early retirement at 50 or 60. Why? Where is the gain? I plan to write and teach and learn until the day I drop. Because anything else would be letting the side down, and because I would surely die without daily personal growth and sharing with others through my work. Not for me the daytime TV, wine for lunch, talking about nothing of value to my society, as so very many do. No. For me, there is far more out there.
If I am fortunate to live to be as old as my parents [currently in their 83rd year], then I hope that the what I do with my life in the next 34 years will add value to what I have to offer others. It certainly won't be for lack of trying, lack of study, or lack of practice. I like to think of myself as an elder in training. I just hope that I make the grade.