Who am I?
Beginning self-inquiry.
So what did you find so far, contemplating the question on day 1?
What are you here for? For truth? To learn to meditate? There are 7,204, 679,183 people on this earth, and each one would have their own view. Over 7 billion worlds, on this one earth.
Yesterday, I asked you to enquire…
What can you find through doing retreat, that you can’t find through simply living life?
Nothing.
Nothing is missing, and you will come to see that.
I’ll tell you what I am here for. I am here as a friend, not a teacher, nor a guru. I am here to hold out a hand to those who want help, to point to the Truth that is right here, right now. i could also be described as a physician, as Alan Watts describes:
“I work on the principle of a physician rather than a clergyman.
A physician is always trying to get rid of his patients and send them away healthy to stand on their own feet, whereas a clergyman is trying to get them as members of a religious organisation…and my objective is really to get rid of you so that you won't need me or any other teacher.”
– Alan Watts
As your friend, I must tell you that you need to drop all ideas of paths. For over 30 years, I sought paths, followed paths. And whilst I could perhaps deem them to have led me to this point, I also know now that I could have come to my current understanding and way of being, directly, without any delay, had I found someone sooner, to point me to the right place to look, and how to look. But I found it anyway, through a growing, unrefutable urge to look, a seeking that would not go away.
All the teachings I followed gave me paths to follow, prescriptions, communities to join. Which is all good, in it’s own way. But to believe that it is the only way, that is a mistake. That is where division arises. Division between self and other.
There is no division between self and other. I don’t want you to hear that and learn it, or believe it. I want you to discover that truth for yourself, as I have. And that is what this retreat is for, and about. Living zen. Living meditation. Living truth.
Today, I have a fresh contemplation for you. Simpler, more direct.
Who am I?
In this simple question lies the root of all answers. You will find it in Zen, Advaita, Non-Duality, Buddhism, and other spiritual paths. Yet it belongs to none of them. It belongs only to Truth, the nature of who we really are.
For now, just sit, begin to ask, to enquire of yourself…
Who am I?
For sure, I could fluff around all day, offering you this technique and that technique, meditations, mantras and all that jazz. I’ve tried them all, and I’m trained in many, and used as aids to this process of self-inquiry, they have benefit to us.
But in my experience, only the asking of this one question takes us to the essential Truth that is our Unborn Buddha nature. And that is what I am here for right now. A spiritual friend, pointing the way.
Just sit, breathe, and ask.
How you sit, right now, does not matter. Sit in full lotus, half lotus, quarter lotus, Burmese, seiza, simple cross-legged. Sit in a chair, on the floor, on the bus, or in a car. Sit in the garden, the bath or the train station. But whatever you do, ask this question.
How you breathe does not matter either, for now. Because I would rather you began to ask this question. Sure, we’ll come to that. I'll add some technique into the mix as we progress. Because this question is all that matters.
It will answer everything, in time… all the technique, smooth breathing, cool sitting, reading of books, burning of candles and incense you can try, will not do that for you.
Only you, armed with this question can do that.
As Nike would say, just do it, ask…
Who am I?
In case you’re wondering what I’m doing during this retreat, besides leading it, I’m asking this self same question, night and day.
Go on…I dare you.
ANDO / LIVING ZEN RETREAT / DAY 2 / TUESDAY 7 JANUARY 2014, 10:55.