“What do you do when you’ve lost your way? You find a map. If you can’t find one, you make one, from memory. You retrace your steps, you try to clear things up.”

– Blue Perez [from White Monument - Unpublished fiction]

Last week, I came to a point where I felt lost. Lost in too many ideas, too many projects started, too many possibilities. On top of that, I was still, despite my efforts to reduce Twitter, RSS etc, drowning in a sea of too much input, too much data.

All my life I have valued education, be it formal education, or self education. I have sought teachers and lessons and input daily, in order to expand my mind and my capabilities. For many years I thrived on it and grew each day as a result. Or so I thought.

What changed?

Wisdom. I have now realised that I have finally, as a result of all that study, meditation, philosophy and discussion [I study and discuss the spiritual path daily, throughout the day, with my partner, and with anyone who will join in], developed my own inner wisdom. But due to my continued search for input, I have been drowning that wisdom in an ocean of comparatively inconsequential data. The internet has replaced TV in my life [I gave up TV ownership in 2007], it crept up on me and I didn't see it coming.

It's time to start swimming for the shore of self. It's time to let my inner wisdom breathe, to release my mind from the constant flow of outside influence. That's why people do retreat. Maybe I should do a retreat. I've done retreat before. We've all heard about digital sabbaticals. But what about good, old fashioned retreats?

It's time to let my thoughts breathe for themselves, take them off the ventilator of the internet, with it's constant supply of data, input, ideas, and inspirations. True inspiration comes from within. It's time to meet myself again… and to trust.