What fine advice I could give to you, my 21 year old self, now that I am 51? I never imagined I might say this, but I am older, and wiser than you. I am the sage I never believed I could be.
There are so many things I could tell you. But all of these things return to one. Truth. Because to find that, will solve all other dilemmas.
Find the Truth.
Find the Truth. Now. Don't wait.
Go deeper, be quiet, find the Truth.
Don't waste your time drinking, smoking, clubbing, doing drugs. I did it. Millions have wasted their time, their lives, doing that. What do they ever change for the better? About the world? About themselves?
But few find the Truth. Fewer than few. Buddha, Christ, Mohammed, Lao Tzu, Ramana Maharshi, the Sages. But they are a drop in the ocean, and I want the world to be swimming in an ocean of Sages. The world needs Sages.
But for that to happen, needs more young people to step up to the mark, to lay down their shield of fear, and to dive into the sweet oblivion that is the True Self.
From the seat of the True Self, you will see the world with such clarity. You will make less mistakes. You will cause less suffering. To yourself, and to others.
You want to be free, as so many do. The young, most of all, wish for freedom, because they are closest to it. We arrive on this earth, naked and free. Then, as we grow, we learn to be in bondage. From our parents, siblings, peers and teachers. From society, and the media.
But the greatest discovery you can make, is that you are free. You are already free. There was never any bondage, and so there is no freedom. There is nothing to be free from.
But this thought of freedom drives so many of us. It drives us up the spiritual path to discovering the freedom that is already here.
Find the Truth.
The Truth is that you were never bound. You are already free. You are beyond all limitiations, which are self-imposed. Mind binds you, if you listen to it.
Don't pay attention to your thoughts. You are not your mind. Your mind is simply a bundle of thoughts. They are worthless. Only the Truth has value.
I hear you ask, “Where will I find this Truth? How?” You always did ask a lot of questions. You always did talk too much.
Here's how. Stop. Be quiet. Listen. Watch your thoughts, but don't follow them. They lie to you. They're masking the Truth. Look for the source, ask “Who am I?”. Ask “Who am I?” at every turn. Ask “Who am I?” every time thought arises.
Find out who is the thinker of the thought. And when you work that out, ask who is the I who is aware of the thinker of the thought.
The rub? You know this place of being already.
It's the place all those poems come from. It's the place where all those sculptures cames from. You know, the ones you filled book after book with sketches of. The ones you said were coming from somewhere else, the ones that were so beautiful, and so many. The ones you made, and people loved. The ones you stopped making, and threw away, the sculptures, the drawings.
Why? Because your foolish ego said “These didn't come from me, they're worthless. It's a fraud. They're not mine.” What an oversight that was. You were right there, you had this thing flowing right through your being, creating the most beautiful art ever to pass from your fingertips, and you shut it down, you slammed the door in it's face. Because 'you' couldn't own it.
Open the door again. It will forgive you.
Keep going. You'll get this.
You might wish to learn to meditate, in order to gain some ease of doing this. That's good. It can only help.
Find a teacher. A good teacher. An awakened teacher. Someone who can guide you to the Truth, then let go of your hand as you dive in.
You don't need to be led. You never did. You just think you do.
Let go. Let go of thoughts of the past, of the future, and even of the present. Because now is now, and no thought or words can be it. Only experiencing can be it.
It sounds so simple, and it is. So simple, that like me, when you finally get this Truth, you will smack your forehead for missing it. Like I did. Then, you will smile the biggest smile ever, from your heart.
It is the most beautiful thing you will ever discover in your life. You will fall in love with it. It will love you back. It will not let you down.
I always wanted to be an artist, yet I could never believe it to be possible. So it wasn't. I wanted to make money, and I made it, but it was never enough. When the chips were down, it was never enough. Don't be me.
So what to do? What to be? Don't worry about that. Don't even think about it.
Find the Truth. Be that.
It's all you will ever need. The rest will come easily.
Life will take care of you, once you know this one thing.